Dancing With the Cullens
by Maddiemoe
Summary: What happens when Alice & Emmett sign the family & some of the Pack up for a reality TV show?
1. E & A's idea

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight,or Dancing With the Stars, any of the Cullens, or the Pros!**

EMPOV:

"Alice! I have a brilliantly brilliantly brilliant idea!" I shouted up the stairs. It was a Tuesday night, and the rest of the family was hunting. Other than Eddie and Bella, who were at Charlie's house for dinner. Even though we don't eat, Bella and Eddie fix supper at Charlie's once a week so that Nessie and Charlie can bond.

"Emmett, this is going to be amazing!" Alice said as she descended the stairs.

"Who's going to win? Is it me? Oh, I have amazing ideas for this!" I questioned. Much to my disappointment, Alice shook her head.

"I don't know, I think that the pack is involved, so I can't see. But everyone and Jake will be here in thirty two minutes and eleven seconds. I can already imagine the costumes, oh, and the shoes!" Alice squealed.

"How will everyone react? Will they all agree?" I asked.

"Well, as long as we play to everyone's strength's, they should agree. Nessie won't be able to compete though because she is too young, and her talent will confuse her partner." Alice responded while bouncing around the dining room. Alice set out her sketch pad, and started designing her costumes. By the time I heard the Volvo on the driveway, she had more than 100 designs completely drawn out.

I started singing to zone Edward out of my mind.

"We didn't start the fire.

It was always burning  
>Since the world's been turning<br>We didn't start the fire  
>No we didn't light it<br>But we tried to fight it

Josef Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev  
>Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc<p>

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron  
>Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock<p>

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team  
>Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland<p>

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev  
>Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez<p>

We didn't start the fire  
>It was always burning<br>Since the world's been turning-"

"Emmett, stop please. I know you have some ridiculous idea, and my answer is no. So please stop bugging me." – Edward interrupted.

"Actually, Edward, life has been getting a little stale lately, maybe it's time for some fun." Bella added.

"Why, Bells, is Eddie not taking care of you in the bedroom? He's too vanilla, isn't he?" I teased.

"Emmett, you lost that bet and aren't allowed-" Eddie started.

"No, Edward, its okay. Emmett, if you consider whipped cream, and mountain lion sauce stale, well I suppose we are vanilla, but we go through ten boxes of blood flavored condoms a week." Bella stated.

I snapped my mouth shut, and turned to Alice, hoping that she would take it from here. I couldn't believe that Bella had gotten my uptight brother to be kinky in the bedroom. Whats more, he even looked pleased and proud of himself!

Alice addressed the family with a triumphant smile. " We are going to be participating in "Dancing With the Stars" next season!"


	2. No Way!

EmPOV:

As soon as Alice said this, the room was filled with questions, sob stories, and Eddy bitching about not being with Bella.

"No. I don't want some other guy dancing with my Bella."

"The emotions in this room are bad enough, just what til we are in the studio. How am I supposed to manage being with a human who is sweaty and has pumping blood all day, for weeks?"

"Well, I guess this is okay. As long as I look good."

"Um, I don't really think I have the coordination for this."

"Hell Yeah! Shirtless on national TV! I am so in!"

"Um, Alice, Leah and I aren't really famous. I mean, her whining is. Hey! That hurt"

"Shut it Seth. Why should we?"

"Alice dear, we aren't famous!"

"Alice, I can't take that much time off of work!"

A sharp whistle rang out across the room.

"ENOUGH! Edward, you will be in the same building and able to read Bella's partner's mind. We will make sure she is paired up with a gay one. Jazzy, you will do great! You can always calm the room down. Think about how happy you can make the judges with your performance. Even Len will love you! Rose, think of all the costumes and shoes we can design and wear for this. We will be the best dressed contestants ever! And Bella, you are a vampire, which means you are graceful! Seth, Jazzy can forge something. Leah, this might be your opportunity to meet your dream guy. Jake, you should probably wear a shirt so that Carrie Ann doesn't pass out! Carlisle, think of the publicity that this could be for a charity such as St. Jude's." Alice addressed the concerns.

"But, Alice. We still are not famous, so we don't even qualify for the show." Esme stated again.

"Yes we are. It will just take some creativity. Emmett can claim to be a world class wrestler, Jazzy is an actor, Edward is a composer or musician, Bella is an author, Rose and I are designers or models, Carlisle is a world renowned surgeon, and you are a famous architect. I have already seen Jasper forging the papers to prove that Seth is a famous chef, and Leah is a therapist, who LOVES to listen to other people's problems. And Jake looks remarkably similar to that guy in the porn film with Paris Hilton. " Alice explained as Jasper and I started cracking up.

"Really, Alice, you make my boyfriend a porn star? You couldn't say martial artist or something?" Renesme asked.

"Nessie, I think Jake can pull off the smarmy role quite well." Edward stated as his daughter harrumphed.

"Well, since everyone seems to be in agreement, I will agree to this only for charity. If any of us win, the money goes to a charity as voted on by the family. Oh, Alice, shopping is not a charity either!" Carlisle consented, "BUT, we are going to have to be very careful to not injure our human partners or expose ourselves. And if anyone, Emmett, does something stupid, they will deal with me. Understand?"

"Yes, Carlisle," we replied.


End file.
